Nothing is/was going on tonight. I've been extremely lazy. Although i did manage to pay some bills and get my checkbook up to date. I know...boring. Well, there was no Finding Reason rockstar session tonight...greg is out of town. I should've worked through some songs tonight, but just didn't have the motivation. I did think about doing some painting too...but once again, couldn't find the motivation. I hate not having the motivation to do what i want to do.
When the mind is not occupied it tends to find things to do...things to think. Good things, bad things, things of no consequence. You start to play the "what-if" game. Experience tells me that things never go as smoothly in real life as they do in my head. You try not to think, you try to purge the contemplations...but they become stronger and more intense. The contemplations devour your sanity. Then you get to the point where you talk yourself in to giving it a shot, give in to them. It'll work, just as you imagined it. Oh but no, it never works that way. Inevitably something always gets screwed up. The world is in a tailspin. you will recover, but things have changed. And usually not for the better. Things are awkward now. Damn my imagination...
Whoa...then you snap back into reality and wonder where the last 20 minutes had gone...
My brain must be tired...i'm spouting off nonsense now. See what the mind will do when it isn't occupied. Beware of the mind...
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